Understanding Myself

I always wonder what really i want ?

but in the end i don't get it .   always thinking my Embarrassing moments like could do this instead of that on that time .  but it no use i Realize that the most important thing is what i want not for other sake  the things that makes me happy . because in the end of the day.

 the really matter is who i am ? what makes me unique from others? Always thinking for other that doesn't makes you a good person for there prospective so, why should i trying to help them or comfort them at end they just think of as a option in there life .

i don't know my thinking is right or not but one-thing for sure that always take your need first .

When i was a little kid my family move to a city in that point of time i had so many emotion in my heart but i kept only with myself because i don't have friends or a person to share my emotion .

so ,my parents put in a high standard school ,then i starting the school i was a country side boy and other more little step above then me . everyday it's like i am going a war but some how i manage (i got so many fight or face bulling)but i was a bright student so some teacher paying more attention helping me to adjust . after that my parent change my school again because it was more prestigious and fancy . i don't know why they think a expensive or high fees school is more better . it didn't make a sense but don't have a that much of choice so they enroll me i think this time it didn't take time to adjust me in that school but it was worse . other students are richer or always bragging about what they have . but i am not that kind of guy who thinks if you have a lot of money doesn't give a right to make other student down . i always make some distance from those guys but end of year i got heated argument with them . so in next year i got little bulling by those guys i manage because i am very good at studying teacher kind like me that gives me little more comfort not fully secured but they abuse me some time because i am more like nerd or say coward  who don't know how stand for them self because if i take stand may be they would engage me in a fight then you have to take your parents into a school . just thinking  of that gives me a goosebumps because my father are Furious person may be they beat me instead of taking my stand. that why never tell my thinks to anyone if tell they just laugh on me .

that why i am writing my feeling because i know no one in my family see this and i can express myself fullest as much i want. 

I don't know this is right or not but i feel some heavy burden just vanish from my head .


                                                                                                                    by:- ennomaru

i am a late teenage boy and a college student

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